Yesterday I woke up in mood, on the wrong side of the bed. No, not the wrong side…maybe just sideways. When I looked out the window, the world outside was grey; it matched my mood, a little after-the-holidays-tired-grey. I looked again everything was still, still and frozen.
Frozen, that word struck a chord deep in my soul. I wrapped my arms around myself before the cold could sink in further; maybe it was already too late. My grey thoughts moved to the goals and resolutions I had made for 2013. I couldn’t help but notice that most of them remain the same as the goals I had made in 2012.
I tried so hard in 2012. Willed myself to be better, worked really diligently to change myself into something different than the year before. I worked on having more patients, eating less calories, more exercise, less sweets, more time with my family, less laziness, more organization, less television, more books, less nagging. I feel like a caterpillar in a cocoon that didn’t emerge as a butterfly. I’m just the same old caterpillar frozen in its ice cocoon. There’s that word again: Frozen.
Already I have started building my 2013 cocoon. I will try again; maybe this year will be the year that I become a butterfly? If that is going to happen, my 2013 cocoon needs a little perspective. What am I doing wrong? Maybe my thinking needs to change, before I can thaw out my frozen ice cocoon.
Albert Einstein said,
“We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them. ”
Food for thought, eh?
When my 2013 cocoon opens will it again reveal the same old caterpillar or will I have changed my thinking enough to finally emerge a butterfly? Will I fly in the warmth of the sun feeling satisfied that I’ve reached my goals?
Don’t get me wrong, I made huge strides in 2012 and created colorful, glittery, gorgeous spots, saved safely inside my heart. When my butterfly wings finally appear, these spots will be placed upon them like badges of honor.
I am, for the most part, a very happy woman. I have improved and made very valiant efforts. 2012 was filled with blessings, oh the countless blessings! And yet there were also challenges. As I worked through them, my problems brought even more blessings into my life.
So why the frozen cocoon? Why the same goals? After writing it all down, I have to admit, I have come a long way, I have improved, and I have also enjoyed the journey. Maybe my cocoon isn’t quite as frozen, as it seems.
Show me your worst and I promise, I will give you my best. Now I can see the beauty in the frost and snow, I can see how it has prepared me, helped me appreciate the challenges, frustrations, and pain. What was once frozen has begun to thaw. This will be the year that I let myself rest and relax. I will cut myself some slack. I will truly like myself more and treat myself better. I will find out what I really want instead of settling for what I think I want. When I finally emerge from my 2013 cocoon, I will most definitely be a butterfly.
Thawing out now, expect good things,
“God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pain: it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world.”
Happy New Year my sweet friends! Like this post, my blog has been frozen for a while. I hope to thaw it out and get back to sharing my pretty paper projects. For now, I leave you with the best of wishes for 2013. May it be a year of love, laughter and good fortune.
P.S. All the photos in this post were taken in my hometown with my iPhone yesterday.