Staying Positive?

There was a day last year when my father told me that I was the happiest person he knew.

Always smiling and positive.

For some reason I find myself arriving at my happy place but I just can’t stay there.

Lately it’s been so hard for me to stay positive….

And now, I find my feelings spilling over onto my blog.

Maybe this is just me

reaching out?

I’m not sure.

I pulled Parker out of school last Friday.  He will be staying home for the last few weeks.

Being Autistic and becoming a teenager has started to take it’s tole on me as a mother.

I’m exhausted.  Mentally.

He’s been so angry.  Defiant even.

And I’m at my whits end.

Where did my sweet boy go?

He’s in there somewhere, he’s a good boy.

I know he is.

I love him so much, more than words.

He’s just struggling.

And lately I feel helpless…

Like a bad Mom.

I never knew raising a teenager could be so hard.

I’ll figure all this out…I know I will.

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  • Sue says:

    Christie sending love and hugs – you will get through it I know you will guess it doesn’t seem like it right now

    You are NOT a bad Mom you just care so much it hurts

    and IT will get better I promise xxx

  • Patrice says:


    You are a strong, beautiful person, and your love and devotion to your children is wonderful. Anyone who has ever seen this blog and read how often you talk about your kids knows how dedicated you are to your family. I don’t know the first thing about raising a child with autism, and I’m not going to pretend that do. I do, however, know how frustrating communication can be between parents and teens. At the end of the day, Parker loves you, and that’s the most important thing in the world. I’m sure it will take some time, a lot of patience and maybe some quiet meditation, but if your family is supportive and understanding, never hesitate to lean on them. That’s what they are there for. They love you and I am sure they are willing to help in any way they can. Know that you have friends who admire your talented craftsmanship who send their positive energy for your continued health, happiness and creativity. You WILL figure it out. I believe it wholeheartedly. 🙂


    P.S. I wish you a belated Happy Mother’s Day. You deserve it.

  • Diana says:

    Christie, we all go through this. Nurturing moms suffer like this, even when our kids are not compounded with the added dynamic of autism. God chose you for Parker, and He will give you what you need to help him become God’s man. Keep asking for love, wisdom and the grace to buoy you through this stormy time. Doubting is human, but if this becomes the focus, it will become a barrier to the Spirit flowing through you. I assure you, this time will pass and you both will be stronger, wiser, closer, and more peaceful for it. Then you can offer other mothers strength and hope yourself. I know these things from my own unique experience. Rely on those who love you, especially they who are mothers. Trust your God-given instincts. Love is the answer, in whatever form love takes.

  • Carmen says:

    Hi Christie,
    I can’t even begin to pretend that I know what you’re going through, because I don’t. Myself, being the mother of 4 boys has had its ups and downs, and I know that a teenage boy is a mysterious thing! They can be difficult and they love to push the edge, and it’s frustrating and hard to deal with.

    There’s a bible scripture that says, “and it came to pass,” and this too shall pass. Unfortunately you’ll have to pass through it…but trust God through it, and He WILL help you. That’s a promise!

    Depression in this situation is completely understandable. Don’t feel that it’s a reflection off of you as a mother, because it isn’t. That’s just the depression talking. Hang in there Christie. From what I’ve seen, you’re a good Mom and Parker is lucky to have you!

    PS: I couldn’t help but notice your labels for this post: Autism, Parker, and Prima! LOL. You’re a diehard scrapbooker!!! 🙂 Happy Mother’s Day!!

  • Emily T says:


  • Oh, dear Christie, I am so sorry to hear of your struggles. I am no help to you, because I have no idea how tough it must be. I can only keep you both in my prayers, and I will. Every day, I will pray that you find the strength to be what you need to be for him. Thinking of you.

  • Rochelle says:

    Me again, just having a noisey about your blog and this post touched me. I hope things settle for you soon and you can find a way to get back to your happy and positive self. What a lovely thing for your Father to say to you.. Although I have no idea what it is like to raise an Autistic teenage boy I send you my heartfelt best wishes and I think it’s great you feel you can share and hopefully get some help from your blogging world.

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